The truth about confusion with our father figures:

The truth about confusion with our father figures:

Soon people will not be able to blame George Bush for their problems.  Who else are they blaming?  Who should they be blaming?  When do people 'grow up' and take responsibility for their own lack of planning and poor choices.  Yes, we are always making choices, but what happens when they are not wise?

I am 38, but I do not recall a time like the past eight year where a president has been blamed for so much.  As soon as George Bush was inaugurated, it seemed like the world began to unravel, or did it?  No one could have imagined the 9/11 disaster, Hurricane Katrina, the tsunami, the hurricanes in Florida or the financial crisis.  Aside from natural disasters, people made choices or did not, which impacted these outcomes.  There are some events we have learned from and some we should learn from, but if an individual buys a house that he or she cannot afford or accumulated too much debt, I can assure you that has nothing to do with George Bush.  In fact, I think George Bush did a fine job, especially with regard to the global climate.  Maybe some of his choices were not popular and maybe he was not a hypnotic communicator, but he did help remove a horrible dictator from absolute power, and there have been no other attacks and American soil.  Thank you God--and thank you, George Bush.

Where do we get this notion that we can blame the leader of our country for our shortcomings?  I think we are living in "a never-neverland" which some call the modern world.  Now, we have stretched adolescence into our late twenties and some, early thirties.  Thirty is the new twenty, and so on.  People blame their parents for their lack of maturity and any given set of issues. Often 'psycho-therapy' even supports this idea.  I have seen so many stupid television shows in the past ten years that treat the modern American dad like a buffoon, rather than a hard working man worthy of honor and respect.   The moms on these shows are concerned with acting sassy and wearing tight jeans, meanwhile, the kids are the sarcastic 'know it alls'.  It is repulsive.  This is not a true modern American family--it is really just a pitiful farce.  Most American parents are doing the very best they can for their families in a modern world where family values are constantly coming under attack.  The irony is superb.  Like David Bowie said in his song "Modern Love"--"modern Love gets me to the church on time."

Finally, two hundred years ago, nobody would have dared blamed George Washington or Abraham Lincoln for their own personal problems or disappointments.  They were just happy to live in freedom and have a strong leader.  So why is it acceptable now?  And what about fathers?  Only fifty years ago, people were married almost out of high school or college and they worked hard to build families and lives that produced responsible citizens.  Now, we have thirty-somethings who can or cannot commit and want it all, now?  Ultimately, it is not our president or our biological fathers that we contend with the most.  It is our Father, God we should aspire to please and respect--maybe then things will turn around.

The Truth about Media Pollution

Do you ever wonder where people like Michelangelo, Beethoven or Benjamin Franklin went?  The truth is creative visionaries of this caliber really do not exist anymore.   Unlike the dinosaurs, the cause of their extinction can be directly identified as media pollution.  We have created and are living in a day and age that is bombarded and suffocated by the constant onslaught of information and influence.  Worse, the majority of this information could be interpreted as means to manipulate public opinion and/or to sell something.  Furthermore, other news is just not relevant--Do I really need to know what Brad Pitt is doing?  Many people are addicted to Hollywood gossip and are avoiding the reality of their own lives by immersing their brains in tabloids.  Here, we are ignoring the possibilities of expanding our own lives, because we prefer to be fixated on someone else.  The truth is that media pollution is dangerous and pervasive.

It seems like whenever we turn on our tv's or read a paper, it is always 'bad news.'  Though there is nothing wrong with weighing the facts and being informed, one has to know where to draw the line.  We cannot fill our heads with constant negativity all day and expect to have peaceful productive days.   We need to have faith that things will work out, that 'we' will be okay.  People have endured so much worse throughout history than we currently face.

Information, information, information.  It is funny, only 16 years ago when I graduated from college, information was something one had to pursue.  There was no prolific internet available to me at that time and I went to a place called the 'library' where it was quiet and I could focus on facts and draw my own conclusions.

In addition, I really get disgusted when on the rare occasion that I want to watch one of the hundreds of news channels available, I am confronted with the embarrassing behavior of some Hilton-spears-lohan, etc.  I'll go one step further and say that most of these 'so-called' entertainers and entertaining people more as parodies and bad role models.  And yes this includes our esteemed athletes too.

In conclusion, media pollution is stealing from us.  It steals our time and our peace.  Everyday, the average person is bombarded by thousands of images that are damaging to one's self-image and self-esteem.  Further, by constantly being informed of news events doesn't increase our control over life, it just feeds neurosis and starves our spirit.  Fight for quiet--shut down, turn on the spirit, the heart and the brain and watch the spark of creativity flare again.

The truth about buried treasures

It seems like people have been searching for buried treasure since the beginning of time. Pirates fought for it and developed legendary maps. People search garage sales, attics and basements looking for something that might be considered valuable on Antiques Roadshow. Clearly, and culturally, we all have a fascination with discovering a 'great deal.'

This past summer I was fortunate enough to travel to Paris and London with my older brother who happens to be the North American President of a French company.

This was an awesome priviledge for me on many levels. Although my trip really only lasted for about six days, in my mind I go back there often. For me the cliche was true...I did find myself in Europe, but ironically I didn't know that I had been missing. However my brother had a sense of my level of exhaustion with the domestic duties I execute daily as a mother of three boys ages 3, 5 and 7. He also knew that in my suburban existence, I didn't and do not always have the chance to do things which I find mentally and intellectually stimulating. Between car lines, snacks, lessons and sports, meals, cleaning and laundry there is just not enough time in the day for ones own personal pursuits and development.

Furthermore, it is funny that my brother who is now a husband, father and executive and myself are in a similar place in life and can appreciate the responsibilities we each maintain. However, we were not always this mature. Since we were only a year-and-a-half apart, closeness in age was sometimes a source of acrimony. As teenagers we got on each other's nerves and there were resentments over lots of little things which are natural for siblings. Then, we deviated further as we made different choices concerning friends, colleges and careers. In fact, one of my brother's career choices sent him to Atlanta for nearly ten years and during this time we seldom spoke and saw each other mostly on holidays. Towards the end of our 'ten year Odyssey' we both were ultimately married and had children. So, when my brother moved back to New York from Atlanta four years ago, we were both new and different adults, both polished by life's refining fire.

Now, I can truly say my brother is one of my best friends and he and his family are a huge part of my life. It is amazing how intelligent, thoughtful and generous a person he is in addition to his strong and public business persona. I am really blessed to have my brother in my life, not because he took me on an amazing trip, but more because he knew I needed a break in general. It turns out that we are very much alike and share a similar outlook on life--we both choose to aspire to excellence because even if you do not always hit the mark at least in any case, it is better to get close than to be mediocre--After all you only go around once-

Finally, I look forward to watching our lives unfold and the lives of our children because that is the greatest treasure anyone can discover. So, I just want to wish my brother Jim all of the best on his 40th birthday today.

Why tell the truth?

Why tell the truth? Well, it's becoming a rare commodity. People are communicating more than ever, but they are not really "connecting." Most of the people I know often feel alone and in their own world even if they are surrounded by people. This is how I feel sometimes too, but now I am getting better because I am making a frightening and bold effort to be myself and give certain people enough credit so that they can understand me and I in turn, can understand them. So, first we need to take a risk and trust--but without that, we are going nowhere. Projection and the showcasing of one's possessions is an empty road that leads to misery since nothing ever comes of it. However, so many are relying on identifying and defining themselves through material belongings that the new financial crisis is their biggest concern and fear because they are worshipping money and themselves.

It can be argued that God doesn't mind our financial establishments being compromised because this means, for many, that we are not really the ones "in control" and, yes, God is the one in control.

Besides the artifice of "social climbing", our technological devices are also creating distance between us. People are addicted to their Blackberries--this steals time away from loved ones.

One time I was on the way to the Museum with my family and kids, when my husband got an email on his Blackberry which caused him panic about a work situation. This Blackberry email stole my husband's joy on a day I had been looking forward to. Also, I see teenagers (and younger kids), out to dinner with their parents and the whole time they are 'texting' or listening to an Mp3 player. And email, what happened to a letter on stationary in handwriting? I am bored with prints and fonts--people hide behind them. Handwriting is colorful and reveals something about a person. Handwriting has character. Also, the emails are something I don't have time for. I am busy with kids and other responsibilities. People think I'm being obtuse, but just call, after all, we have more phones than ever, and we are paying handsomely for them, internet and cable, (if it seemed like your parents had more money than you do, this is why).

Finally, the most ridiculous reason for ingenuine communication could be attributed to our contrived sense of 'political correctiveness' which has already made the assumption that someone, somewhere will be offended by virtue of its existence. So we are left with a relative obscure set of rules about what we can say and when and to whom. Being "real" with others requires a certain spontaneity and creativity, not a packaged "one size fits all" conversation.

Well, in conclusion, maybe the existentialists like Camus and Munch were right. They saw the breakdown of human communication almost a century ago. While I do admit that the barriers for truth and intimacy are strong, I must submit that the human spirit with its need for love and expression is much stronger. I would encourage people everywhere to tell the truth about what is really inside of them--You have no idea how many people could be helped because it is the truth that brings healing and companionship to our weary souls.

Why tell the truth?