It seems like people have been searching for buried treasure since the beginning of time. Pirates fought for it and developed legendary maps. People search garage sales, attics and basements looking for something that might be considered valuable on Antiques Roadshow. Clearly, and culturally, we all have a fascination with discovering a 'great deal.'
This past summer I was fortunate enough to travel to Paris and London with my older brother who happens to be the North American President of a French company.
This was an awesome priviledge for me on many levels. Although my trip really only lasted for about six days, in my mind I go back there often. For me the cliche was true...I did find myself in Europe, but ironically I didn't know that I had been missing. However my brother had a sense of my level of exhaustion with the domestic duties I execute daily as a mother of three boys ages 3, 5 and 7. He also knew that in my suburban existence, I didn't and do not always have the chance to do things which I find mentally and intellectually stimulating. Between car lines, snacks, lessons and sports, meals, cleaning and laundry there is just not enough time in the day for ones own personal pursuits and development.
Furthermore, it is funny that my brother who is now a husband, father and executive and myself are in a similar place in life and can appreciate the responsibilities we each maintain. However, we were not always this mature. Since we were only a year-and-a-half apart, closeness in age was sometimes a source of acrimony. As teenagers we got on each other's nerves and there were resentments over lots of little things which are natural for siblings. Then, we deviated further as we made different choices concerning friends, colleges and careers. In fact, one of my brother's career choices sent him to Atlanta for nearly ten years and during this time we seldom spoke and saw each other mostly on holidays. Towards the end of our 'ten year Odyssey' we both were ultimately married and had children. So, when my brother moved back to New York from Atlanta four years ago, we were both new and different adults, both polished by life's refining fire.
Now, I can truly say my brother is one of my best friends and he and his family are a huge part of my life. It is amazing how intelligent, thoughtful and generous a person he is in addition to his strong and public business persona. I am really blessed to have my brother in my life, not because he took me on an amazing trip, but more because he knew I needed a break in general. It turns out that we are very much alike and share a similar outlook on life--we both choose to aspire to excellence because even if you do not always hit the mark at least in any case, it is better to get close than to be mediocre--After all you only go around once-
Finally, I look forward to watching our lives unfold and the lives of our children because that is the greatest treasure anyone can discover. So, I just want to wish my brother Jim all of the best on his 40th birthday today.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Monday, December 15, 2008
Why tell the truth?
Why tell the truth? Well, it's becoming a rare commodity. People are communicating more than ever, but they are not really "connecting." Most of the people I know often feel alone and in their own world even if they are surrounded by people. This is how I feel sometimes too, but now I am getting better because I am making a frightening and bold effort to be myself and give certain people enough credit so that they can understand me and I in turn, can understand them. So, first we need to take a risk and trust--but without that, we are going nowhere. Projection and the showcasing of one's possessions is an empty road that leads to misery since nothing ever comes of it. However, so many are relying on identifying and defining themselves through material belongings that the new financial crisis is their biggest concern and fear because they are worshipping money and themselves.
It can be argued that God doesn't mind our financial establishments being compromised because this means, for many, that we are not really the ones "in control" and, yes, God is the one in control.
Besides the artifice of "social climbing", our technological devices are also creating distance between us. People are addicted to their Blackberries--this steals time away from loved ones.
One time I was on the way to the Museum with my family and kids, when my husband got an email on his Blackberry which caused him panic about a work situation. This Blackberry email stole my husband's joy on a day I had been looking forward to. Also, I see teenagers (and younger kids), out to dinner with their parents and the whole time they are 'texting' or listening to an Mp3 player. And email, what happened to a letter on stationary in handwriting? I am bored with prints and fonts--people hide behind them. Handwriting is colorful and reveals something about a person. Handwriting has character. Also, the emails are something I don't have time for. I am busy with kids and other responsibilities. People think I'm being obtuse, but just call, after all, we have more phones than ever, and we are paying handsomely for them, internet and cable, (if it seemed like your parents had more money than you do, this is why).
Finally, the most ridiculous reason for ingenuine communication could be attributed to our contrived sense of 'political correctiveness' which has already made the assumption that someone, somewhere will be offended by virtue of its existence. So we are left with a relative obscure set of rules about what we can say and when and to whom. Being "real" with others requires a certain spontaneity and creativity, not a packaged "one size fits all" conversation.
Well, in conclusion, maybe the existentialists like Camus and Munch were right. They saw the breakdown of human communication almost a century ago. While I do admit that the barriers for truth and intimacy are strong, I must submit that the human spirit with its need for love and expression is much stronger. I would encourage people everywhere to tell the truth about what is really inside of them--You have no idea how many people could be helped because it is the truth that brings healing and companionship to our weary souls.
It can be argued that God doesn't mind our financial establishments being compromised because this means, for many, that we are not really the ones "in control" and, yes, God is the one in control.
Besides the artifice of "social climbing", our technological devices are also creating distance between us. People are addicted to their Blackberries--this steals time away from loved ones.
One time I was on the way to the Museum with my family and kids, when my husband got an email on his Blackberry which caused him panic about a work situation. This Blackberry email stole my husband's joy on a day I had been looking forward to. Also, I see teenagers (and younger kids), out to dinner with their parents and the whole time they are 'texting' or listening to an Mp3 player. And email, what happened to a letter on stationary in handwriting? I am bored with prints and fonts--people hide behind them. Handwriting is colorful and reveals something about a person. Handwriting has character. Also, the emails are something I don't have time for. I am busy with kids and other responsibilities. People think I'm being obtuse, but just call, after all, we have more phones than ever, and we are paying handsomely for them, internet and cable, (if it seemed like your parents had more money than you do, this is why).
Finally, the most ridiculous reason for ingenuine communication could be attributed to our contrived sense of 'political correctiveness' which has already made the assumption that someone, somewhere will be offended by virtue of its existence. So we are left with a relative obscure set of rules about what we can say and when and to whom. Being "real" with others requires a certain spontaneity and creativity, not a packaged "one size fits all" conversation.
Well, in conclusion, maybe the existentialists like Camus and Munch were right. They saw the breakdown of human communication almost a century ago. While I do admit that the barriers for truth and intimacy are strong, I must submit that the human spirit with its need for love and expression is much stronger. I would encourage people everywhere to tell the truth about what is really inside of them--You have no idea how many people could be helped because it is the truth that brings healing and companionship to our weary souls.
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